baby steps

we are on day 4 of sleep training.  and i have to say, compared to day 1 - night and day!  ap and i are getting used to owen's cio, but more importantly, owen is getting used to sleeping on his own.  as mentioned before, owen cried for probably around 7 hours the first night, with 3 hours of sleep in between.  that was pure torture.  and sad to say but i actually slept through a couple of those 7 hours.  i know...how cruel am i!!  i felt terrible!  every mom i've talked to and vented to since we started this ST, they all but 1 mom have advised me to stay on course and do not give up/in.  do not go in to pick him up!  (one of our friends said she didn't do any ST w/any of her 3 children because it didn't work.  she held them or drove around at night so her daughter can sleep in the carseat.  gulp!  was my reaction)  my mom's been very supportive, calling a few times a day to check in and encouraging me.  mostly to say that i'm not a bad mom for doing this and all moms go through it.  i just sobbed to her like a baby myself - how could i not?  he cried for 7 hours!

but i'm happy to say (and also scared to jinx myself) the second night, he only cried 45 minutes and last night, didn't even fuss!  we put him down after the usual bath and book & lots of kisses by 8:15.  when he did fuss, he didn't cry like the first night.  it was more of a fuss.  we could see in our monitor that he was just fighting sleep, so i knew it was going to be different from night 1, when he just cried, not fuss.  he woke up at 2:30.  i was tempted to let him cio, but w/the surgery wound and diaper rash we're watching carefully, i got up to change him and feed him.  i was so nervous...what if he cries for 3 hours when i put him back down?!!!  babies are so smart.  i should've given my baby more credit.  owen fussed for 15 minutes this time and off to dreamland he went.  then he was up for the day at 7:30.  i have to say, we're making pretty giant baby steps.

i'm bf'ing and bottle feeding him.  it's working out better than i expected.  i thought he'd reject the bottle as he had done before when i gave it to him, but he's gulping the whole bottle w/out any fuss now.  and lately, he's been eating more than usual.  they measured him yesterday and he is in 50 percentile for weight and 75 percentile for height.  we really don't mind him getting bigger.  and i just love chubby babies!

owen's 100 day celebration is just around the corner.  i cannot wrap my mind around the fact that he's almost 100 days old.  it seems like it was just yesterday dr strachan put him on my chest for the first time and our hearts just melted.  they've continued to melt since...despite all the agony that comes w/this ST ordeal.  a part of me is sad to see him grow so quickly.  i can't wait for all the milestones ahead of us but i'll forever miss him being this tiny and precious...