2nd time around

I don't know if I was cut out to be a mom.  I don't know how other moms do it.  They are like super moms in my eyes.  How are the dishes always done, laundry always folded AND put away, new menu every dinner and get their child(ren) in bed at a decent hour? I want to believe that they're either lying or it's just like that when I visit.  I think if I can do two of the four just listed, it's a good day for me.  And almost 99% of the time, it's the dishes and kiddos in bed by 7:30.  And both for selfish reasons - so I can have a clean plate for my dinner and some freedom to catch up on the Kardashians or K.Dramas.  I could barely keep this blog up to date with one rambumctious boy and now that I have two (although, from the looks of it so far **crossing fingers/toes, praying**, Gavin seems much more mild-mannered and mellow than Owen) - I don't even know where what letters are on keyboards.

It has been almost a year, a YEAR, since my last post.  Eesh..i've got to stop doing the dishes and use my spare time more wisely. 

Anyway - without having to explain, much has happened since I last visited my blog.  We welcomed our second son, moved into a bigger space (although, it still looks like we're in the midst of a move if you were to see the place), Albert is at a different job/property, and I'm permanently stuck at 140 lbs.  But some things never change even in 9 months.  We still walk around like zombies wishing we knew what it felt like to wake up past 7am. 

The entire 9 months of my pregnancy with Gavin, I was consumed with fear the most.  Of course I was happy, excited, grateful, etc.  But I have to admit, fear trumped them all.  I won't lie - I even cried a couple of times to Albert about how scared I was.  Albert works nights and Saturdays.  He comes home at 11pm on good days. That pretty much means I'm a single mom.  Being a single mom to one kiddo is tough.  Going to the market, park, preparing dinner, feeding him, cleaning up, bathing them, reading to him, putting them to bed all.by.myself....that is not an easy task even for one day, let alone every single day/night!  All of this with a newborn.  I tell ya - FEAR was this dark cloud over me, pressing on my shoulders the entire 9 months of my pregnancy.  And I thought if Gavin is anything like Owen - forget it.  I will find a window to jump out of.

Owen wasn't a terrible newborn.  He was not colicky or anything.  But he was a terrible sleeper from day 1.  And I think that has a lot to do with spending lots of days and nights in the NICU and PICU.  As soon as I'd put him down in his bassinet, Owen woke up every 20 minutes and I had to make multiple trips back to his bassinet to put him back to sleep, and we'd literally tip toe ourselves to bed next to him.  The child wanted nothing to do with putting himself back to sleep.  And naps?  Forget it.  Owen hardly ever napped even as a newborn.  So I knew it was game over if Gavin was going to be like Owen.

But whaddayaknow. Gavin is the most mellow, well-sleeping baby I could've asked for.  And this time around, I tried things I didn't with Owen.  Like pacifier, feeding on demand, not obsessing over every detail like letting him sleep in the car, stroller, etc.  I was so strict with Owen not wanting to deviate from my "plan" that I came up with after reading countless number of books that are just nonsense in retrospect.  Parenting is to each their own.  No doctor, author, sleep specialist knows other people's babies.  I threw all advice and "dont do's" out the window.  Gavin sleeps as long as he's full and/or paci's in his mouth.  And if it falls out, he'll wake up but puts himself back to sleep. 

We are just grateful to be blessed with a healthy baby.  It wasn't easy with Owen - the first 12 months...there are days I just do not want to relive.  Maybe because I had so much fear and anxiety that it just seems easier than what I had expected now that Gavin is here, and maybe it has to do with Owen being older, more mature, but 2nd time around has not been as crazy difficult as I had anticipated.  Thank the Lord!

Now, let me warn you...stop eating and/or hopefully you're not hungry right now.

Today, Gavin was just plopped on our couch, chilling as he usually does.  Then there was like a mintute of one explosion after another. 

This is just the FRONT of his diaper...there's more but I would like to protect my son's privacy.  He might kill me if he sees this 17 years from now.  I love Pampers.