i mean, really. what the heck is a "birth plan"? isn't the plan to just have the baby as swiftly, safely as possible? especially this being my first pregnancy, how are first time mommies supposed to "plan" their birth when we don't even know what to expect? at this point, i don't even know what real contractions feel like, let alone know what to do during labor & delivery. my plan is simple - have the baby.
but my dr and hoag had asked me to complete their birth plan worksheet. do i want a birthing ball in the room? do i want to take a shower or bath during labor? do i want a rocking chair? who can be in the room during birth? do i want pain medication? uh....honestly - "i don't know" is the answer to all. i don't know WHAT i want because i don't know what works and doesn't work for me. so i hope the hospital doesn't stick to my yes/no answers like they're permanently engraved.
the only thing i am sure about is that i want to avoid going to the hospital early only to be sent back home. i know that's not completely within my control since i might be such a sucker for pain that i think the baby's seriously about to come out and we rush us to the hospital only to find out i'm only like 1/2 cm dilated. i want to avoid early medical intervention so would like to stay home as long as i possibly can. but at the same time, i don't want to get to the hospital so late that it's too late for an epidural if i choose to take it. damn~~ this is harder than memorizing SAT words! how am i supposed to get this timed perfectly!
ap says i'm probably gonna ring for the anesthesiologist the second i feel contractions. he obviously doesn't have confidence in my pain threshold. but trust me, i am not gonna fight epidural off just to prove a point to my husband. i don't care if my husband thinks i'm a sucker. i'll ask for the meds on my terms. no need to be a hero. won't make a mom who delivered med free next door any better of a mom than me who might want to relieve not just myself from pain but people around me from pain when i wail like a 5 year old and curse like a sailor. but my biggest turn off about epidural is that it'll prolong the labor process. i'd rather get it over with short and not-so-sweet than long and sweet. ah...we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
so just yesterday i was hoping this baby would come out like asap. but ap actually did start his new job today so at this point, it really doesn't matter when the lil guy comes. of course, i'd want him to come soon but my big fat reason wanting him to come like yesterday is no longer that fat. ap's employer is aware that i'm ready to pop any second so they'll allow him to leave at my phone call. he won't get paternal leave days since he just started but i think we'll be okay. my mom will be staying with us for a couple of weeks so i'm sure we'll be in good hands. what i am super excited about are possible upcoming vacations we'll be able to take w/o worrying about hotel cost! i've already told him vancouver is on the top of my list since we had to cancel our anniversary trip 2 years ago.
and i have accomplished my goal in getting salad bbang and mamma cozza. i even devoured a large claro's sandwich on sunday. so bad since deli meat is a no-no but it was soooo tempting and good! and whenever ap orders wine or beer, i just take a big sniff and believe it or not, does somewhat satisfy me.
hopefully this is my last post before he's here! not crazy about the idea of our parents driving in this rain to come to the hospital so i wouldn't mind if he decides to hold off for a couple more days. just come out healthy lil man!
No comments:
Post a Comment